What I really love

People always ask me, "So do you just love motherhood?" And I always respond with a sure "yes" and accompanying smile. But then I always feel ingenuine and walk away puzzled by my inner ambiguity. I do love motherhood, right? Well recently, after one of these exact conversations with someone, it hit me what the problem was. I do love motherhood, but that's not really how I think of my life. I am happy and fulfilled because I love my son, not the lifestyle that he brings. I can't get over how crazy, madly, and deeply I am in love with my little Soren. I know, people always say that you will experience a love for your child that you've never experienced before. Words just can't wrap around this kind of love. I mean, I am so stinkin' excited to spend each and every day with my little guy. It doesn't matter how tired and sleepy I am in the early morning--when Brandon brings Soren in with a big smile on his face my whole world lights up. I go crazy over his giggle, his chubby hands, his smooth belly, his amazing-smelling head...oh, and his light-up-the-room smile. There is nothing like that smile. I really feel like I'm in love and can't get enough of my son. It's just so much more than I ever expected. So more than motherhood, what I really love is that I get to have this incredible boy named Soren in my life.

A Virginia retreat

After all the chaos of the last few weeks, we finally got some sweet relief. We got to visit our dear friends in Virginia!! It was a short but restful weekend in charming Charlottesville that left us feeling encouraged and restored. Soren got to meet and enjoy so many of our favorite people--Tim, Jenn, Kevin, Tim W., Chris, Sarah, and Tuula--which was so fun for Brandon and I to watch. And we even got to experience the beginnings of fall in the East with red leaves and cool rain. But most importantly, we got to just be ourselves and curl up with good friends. That's the kind of retreat I could use more often.

Life under construction

Life has been hard lately. Really hard. Our house is under complete construction and so Soren and I have been forced to live like gypsies for the last week and a half, bouncing around from house to house. Thank God for generous friends who have opened their homes to us--Tim & Tracy, Kevin & Sonya, Bruce & Mary, Mike & Aurora. Friends are family to us down here as we have chosen to live away from our families. But even with the generosity and great times playing with friends, it's been hard. Our house is pretty much piled under plastic tarps and covered in dirt. We have to be out by 8am every morning so the work crews can get going. And then it's the challenge of making sure Soren can get some decent naps wherever we are for the day. He is just so amazing. I don't think I ever fully realize just how mellow and adaptable he really is. I'm the one who's struggling. Hopefully it will all be over in another week. I swear I will never take our precious house for granted again! And, really, I can't complain. The airport authority is putting in new windows, central heating and air, and updated electrical work for free!! We are so, so blessed.And Soren's gotten to play with lots of friends...Quinn, Pele (the dog), Uncle Andrew & Tante Janneke, Zeke, and Banning & Roddick.He also let off some serious steam after our rough week!