Tuesday, October 20, 2009
What I really love
People always ask me, "So do you just love motherhood?" And I always respond with a sure "yes" and accompanying smile. But then I always feel ingenuine and walk away puzzled by my inner ambiguity. I do love motherhood, right? Well recently, after one of these exact conversations with someone, it hit me what the problem was. I do love motherhood, but that's not really how I think of my life. I am happy and fulfilled because I love my son, not the lifestyle that he brings. I can't get over how crazy, madly, and deeply I am in love with my little Soren. I know, people always say that you will experience a love for your child that you've never experienced before. Words just can't wrap around this kind of love. I mean, I am so stinkin' excited to spend each and every day with my little guy. It doesn't matter how tired and sleepy I am in the early morning--when Brandon brings Soren in with a big smile on his face my whole world lights up. I go crazy over his giggle, his chubby hands, his smooth belly, his amazing-smelling head...oh, and his light-up-the-room smile. There is nothing like that smile. I really feel like I'm in love and can't get enough of my son. It's just so much more than I ever expected. So more than motherhood, what I really love is that I get to have this incredible boy named Soren in my life.
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Girl- I could tell you of about a hundred times during the day when I feel overhwlemed, exhausted and burnt out....and then when Ty flashes me a smile with his dimples, or when Bella casually asks "will we be best friends forever?"...I just melt.
ReplyDeleteBeing a mom is not easy at all. It's a thankless, dirty job.
But it's the hardest job I've ever loved doing!
Just a little encouragement to let you know that the infant stage doesn't last forever...and even when Soren is older- you will still be exhausted! But you will love your job that much more.
Love you! :-)