The Law, My Law

Well I (Brandon) finally decided to contribute to the family blog. So I have been learning some things lately about how as soon as I experience God or anything of His realm in my life I immediately try to define that experience and hem it in so I can replicate it at any time. What I am realizing is that this is taking God right out of it and inserting myself in His place. So here is a poem I wrote about that idea.

The Law, My Law

Lord, oh Lord how I love to be with Thee,

Treasure these times oh Lord I do.

As I bask and sit in your presence I could forever be,

To be with you oh Lord, all I want is you.

This is how it should always be I think,

With you, next to you, connected at last.

I’ve found it Lord! The secret, the missing link!

Finally, I’ve got it! What a fool I was in the past!

Now that I am here let me record the events,

Let me write down this way, never to forget.

I will make a map recording each turn, every way I went,

The Law is recorded, the path is clear, success a sure bet.

This experience is too high, too far from my understanding,

This moment too shaky, unpredictable, uncertain at best.

I want it always, I want it now, I want it right from where I am standing

So I pull and I tug and gaze over the crest.

I follow my map and tug as hard as I can,

I can see it there it is now in my sight.

I almost got it, it’s working ahh yes my plan!

As I hold it and touch it, it seems so light.

What happened to the weight it once had?

The color seems dull, imperfect at best.

As I inspect it I see, this is not what made me glad,

It’s hollow and empty, just like all the rest.

I open up my treasure and I am surprised about what’s inside

First I find my map, not treasure at all.

A map that leads to its maker is no treasure to hide,

This trail of sure success only lead me to fall.

Finally I discover the real contents of my loot,

Is this what I longed for? What I worked so hard to obtain?

The answer is No! I’ve taken the wrong route,

There I am sitting inside. Me in all my glory and pride so vain!

In my attempts to find God I miss him completely,

It’s because I try to hem Him in, in this cold world of the Law.

I try to bring Him to me, not realizing my strength is depleted,

My maps, rules, guidelines, securities are just fear, fear is my Law.

If I can just stay with Him, with His Spirit that is,

I can float on his tide, bask in his rays, be rocked by his waves,

be crushed by his storms but all in all I can be suspended by His Love.

The dynamics of this relationship can never be defined.

As soon as we do the love turns in.

As soon as it is by our own strength we only hold ourselves.

We can only relate with God when we live in his world of the constantly changing,

ever powerful, journey of love.

Soren's new sound

Soren's got a new sound--or scream--these days and it's just hilarious. Okay, we probably get a way bigger kick out of it than anyone else will, but we hope he brings a smile to your face!

Remembering what "church" is for

Tonight I remembered why we have joined such an unconventional church. I have been having my doubts recently--and I guess they're always in the back of my mind--about what our church group is, why we started what we did, what direction we're headed in, and why I continue to go. This last week I heard something about a big, popular church in San Diego that offers a block of free childcare so that moms can cater to themselves once a week. I couldn't help but be a little envious of a program like that. And we left another big church in San Diego a year or so ago that was filled with mostly people just like us--young, middle-class, churched professionals. It seemed so easy to build social networks there. I've been thinking a lot about the things I miss out on by not attending a traditional, larger church...instant social circles with people like me (at least on the surface), moms groups, inspiring communal worship with a professional band, fun all-church activities, and the ease to come and go as I please. Programs, luxuries, and comfort. That's what church is supposed to be about, right? Hmmm...
Let me describe the church we are now a part of. We meet in a coffee shop in Ocean Beach, our local hippie beach town. We have an hour of eating sandwiches, drinking coffee, and just chatting with each other while the shop is still open. Then the shop closes up and we form a circle. Most of the time there are not more than 15 of us. We sing, accompanied by a single guitar, we read Bible verses, and we share our praises and concerns. Oftentimes our sharing takes up most of the hour. Then one of the several ordained ministers in our group shares a short and informal sermon. We share in the Eucharist together and then it's done. It's really as simple as that.
Tonight I looked around our circle and was amazed to see the diversity among us. All different ages and various walks of life were represented tonight. But wonderful as it is, diversity creates discomfort. As does an intimate setting and the lack of a formal structure. And yet we all push forward through the awkward moments and uncertainties and then something beautiful emerges. We see into each other's hearts and we experience God together. We don't get goosebumps because of a rockin' worship song, we don't get absolute answers from the pastor's sermon, we don't get Sunday lunch plans from shaking hands with our neighbor. We simply experience the power and presence of God by communing together as children of God. I remember now what I believe Jesus intended the body of Christ to be. And I am so, so thankful to feel that maybe, just maybe, our little group in OB is experiencing "church" as He intended it to be.

Real food for Soren!

A few weeks ago Soren just stopped sleeping through the night. As any mom who treasures her sleep would do, I immediately started reading up on why he could be doing this! My theory was that maybe he was not getting enough nutrition (although his rolls behind his knees tell a different story) and so I decided to start feeding him solid food. The first night we gave him rice cereal for dinner he slept through the night again! Soren has taken to food quite well (we're not surprised), and it's hilarious to watch!

The night before we started solids, Soren started hinting to us he was ready by grabbing Daddy's fork and trying to eat off his plate!

Fat and happy with rice cereal...

...and we've added peas too!