Coming home...

So after 10 days away, I couldn't wait to unload the car and head out to watch the sunset at Sunset Cliffs. Oh my goodness, it did not disappoint! The beauty of the sky, the warmth of the air, and the intoxicating smell of salt water swept me up into overwhelming gratitude for our home in San Diego. It was the perfect homecoming.

Christmas.

Get ready for a long post of storytelling! We just got back from 10 days up at my parents' house in the Central Valley celebrating Christmas. It felt like we didn't do anything but relax, but now that I've compiled our pictures I see that we--especially Soren--had an eventful trip! Besides laying around, drinking coffee, and chatting with family by the fire, this is what the rest of our trip looked like...We took walks almost daily around my dad's vineyard and experienced some incredible Valley sunsets.My dad took Bran and Soren to John Deere and Soren got his first toy tractor (with many more to come, I'm sure). What a treat for my dad who never had a son!Soren got re-acquainted with his Uncle Scotty and Aunty Dani and just laughed and laughed.Bran and I took advantage of free babysitting and enjoyed a getaway in Shaver Lake where we snowboarded, relaxed at a B & B, and woke up to fresh snow in the morning! We know Mamae loved being with Soren at least as much as we loved the break.Soren had his first Christmas! It was a bit overwhelming for him, but we sure loved watching him get all kinds of "big kid" toys like a golf set, a basketball hoop, and an "autographed" Chargers football.And surrounded by all of his new toys Soren had the most fun playing in an empty basket!Soren made friends with Cooper (Scotty's nephew) who is just 2 weeks older than him. It was hilarious to watch the two meet by staring at each other and grabbing each other's faces! It made me wish Soren had a friend his age close by.And one of my highlights is getting to see all of my extended family at Christmas. Of course Soren had fun charming them as well!We so enjoyed just soaking up quality time with my sisters, brothers-in-law and parents. That is what makes Christmas for me.

A romance in the making?

It all started in late 2008 when my dear friend Sonya and I got pregnant a few months apart. I was due in April and she in July. I was painting my nursery blue and she was collecting adorable girl clothes.
First came Soren Gabriel...and then Quinn Michele.They began by just playing next to each other.Then Soren started reaching for Quinn's hand.Then Quinn started liking it. And now they're just buds.Our families are loving the match so far....

Postpartum identity crisis

A few weeks ago I had an interesting encounter with a stranger that has left an indelible impression on me. I was shopping with Soren in my favorite store Anthropologie and a young woman began googling over how cute Soren was (this happens quite often, as you might imagine:-). She ended the interaction by saying, "What I really want is a little boy like yours, but since I can't have that I'm just gonna buy another pair of jeans to make myself feel better." I looked at this beautiful, thin, young, stylish woman in disbelief. She needed something to make her feel better about herself? I had what she wanted? And so the universal cliche hit home to me in a powerful new way--people, love, relationships are what really matter in this life.
You could say that I've entered into a postpartum identity crisis recently. I've cut my hair (bangs--yikes!), bought leggings (another yikes), and attempted another diet, all as a fight against becoming what I am: a mom. I guess being a mom must be something old, boring and fat in my mind because I seem to be deathly afraid of giving in to this new identity. Or perhaps this is just a new stage of life which means a new place for my lifelong insecurities to wreak havoc on me. Whatever the reason for this crisis, what I do know is that I am struggling once again to find freedom, peace and grace in my own skin. So I keep coming back to the valuable message this stranger in Anthropologie taught me: becoming a mother has brought me the most precious and eternal gift--my son.