God has us on a journey. One of adventure. Of learning. Of battles. Of love. Growth is this journey realized. So here is our story.

Monday, July 19, 2010

Cloud of change

I guess I haven't made the official announcement yet...
We are moving to Phoenix! Brandon and I are both starting doctoral programs next month at Arizona State University--me in psychiatric nursing and Bran in exercise physiology. We are super excited to continue on in our career development, but also a bit anxious about ANOTHER move, this time with a 15-month-old! My journal entry this morning sums up where my heart is at the moment...

I have entered the cloud of change. I finally put words to my awkward melancholy state this past weekend. At least this cloud, this fog, is becoming familiar. I realize that the end is in sight and I almost numb myself to the sad goodbyes and uncertainty of the future. I feel as if I'm floating to the end, moved along by the current of life choices I've already made, with a vague sense of uneasiness about what lies beyond the end. I guess this is the way I cope. But I know it could be healthier. And so I'm trying to spend more time talking with Brandon and writing in my journal about the fleeting thoughts and feelings inside of me. My biggest sadness: leaving our community of friends, especially the Kemps, who have become family to us. My biggest fear: not being able to balance motherhood and school. I need to sit in these personal truths for awhile. It's okay to grieve our losses and it's okay to be afraid of a challenging, new stage of life. If there's one thing I've learned in all our life changes so far it's this: God is faithful and full of surprises. Arizona will offer people or things we couldn't experience anywhere else. And the cloud of change will pass.


  1. Thanks for writing this honest post… I can relate to your feelings…
    I think moving/transition is exiting and scary at the same time… it makes you super vulnerable (and you can also do so many in a life time!). I feel kinda done with transition myself and not so sure if I'm ready to face our current transition… it will be hard but it will bring many surprises, new relationships and other unexpected gifts from God.
    You know we are bummed that you guys will be further away, but are also excited for this new fase in your life! (and it's only for three years… we can do this!)

  2. Love reading your entries. It will be a nice way to stay in touch, who knows, maybe I'll start one. We are really going to miss you guys too. Em actually starting crying today when Bran called about his sunglasses. Em said, "oh, does he want his sunglasses before his trip?" and I said yes, and he thought the "trip" was to Arizona. He cried so hard, emotions I did not think he could have or would have. He said "I'm going to miss Soren". Good little buddies. I reassured him we'd visit often and get to have sleepovers. He liked the idea of that. Excited for what's next for you guys.